"Isn't that Sister Byeong-uk?" she said.
Byeong-uk turned in surprise and saw a former classmate who was two years behind her.
"Oh my, how long has it been!"
"But where are you going?"
"I'm on my way to Tokyo now..."
"Why, so suddenly...? Hey, you should at least meet up before going... how heartless!" she said, turning around. "Well, get off. Let's go to my house."
"No, I have a companion... But who came to see you off?"
"Huh? No, don't you know, sister?"
"What?"
"Oh my! You know Seon-hyeong over there. She said Seon-hyeong is leaving for America today."
"Seon-hyeong is going to America?" she said, surprised.
The female student pointed to where people were gathered in front of a second-class compartment.
"She's on board... This time she got married, and her husband is going to America to study. They're doing well. Everyone's going to America or Japan, and here I am rotting away alone!"
Byeong-uk followed the student to the car where Seon-hyeong was supposed to be, but there were too many people and she couldn't get close. Seon-hyeong, in a white suit with her head bare, stood by the window answering the farewells of those who had come to see her off. At the next window, a young gentleman in a suit was also repeatedly bowing his head and exchanging greetings. The send-off crowd was largely divided into two groups: one side gathered only women, the other only men. The men were all from the so-called civilized class of Seoul.
Byeong-uk stood watching for a while, then, hoping to see Seon-hyeong again later, she went back to her own compartment, which was directly behind that car. Yeongchae was still sitting with her head bowed. Most of the passengers who had boarded earlier had gotten off, and new passengers had filled the compartment almost to capacity. Some took off their jackets and hung them up, some stood by the windows saying goodbye, and others were already seated with newspapers. But only Byeong-uk and Yeongchae were wearing white clothes.
Byeong-uk sat down, looked around the compartment, and said to Yeongchae, "Why are you sitting with your head bowed like that?"
"Somehow, hearing the name Namdaemun, my mind gets strangely confused. I wish the train would leave soon." Just then the bell rang. Voices calling out "Goodbye, take care" rained down like a shower, and the train began to move. From somewhere came the cry, "Hurrah! Hurrah for Lee Hyeong-sik!" The two women were startled and pricked up their ears. Once more, "Hurrah for Lee Hyeong-sik!" rang out.
The people who had been cheering now quickly passed by their window. They were a group wearing ramie overcoats and Panama hats. Byeong-uk guessed that the person who had been beside Seon-hyeong was Hyeong-sik, and that Hyeong-sik was Seon-hyeong's husband. But she said nothing.
When Yeongchae heard the name Hyeong-sik, she felt her heart suddenly lurch. She had been trying her best to forget Hyeong-sik, but now that he was on the same train, tears she couldn't explain fell naturally. Byeong-uk grasped Yeongchae's hand.
"Hey, don't cry. Why are you crying?"
"I don't know," she said, wiping her tears and forcing a smile.
After passing Yongsan, Byeong-uk went to find Seon-hyeong. Seon-hyeong took Byeong-uk's hand. "What is this?"
"I'm on my way to Tokyo. But I hear you're going to America."
"Yes, I was going to write to you, but I needed to know where you were—whether in Tokyo or somewhere else."
"I happened to meet Gyeong-ae at Namdaemun earlier, and that's how I found out you were on this train," she said, greeting the gentleman sitting across from them. The gentleman returned the greeting and invited her to sit.
Byeong-uk took the opportunity to observe Hyeong-sik, wondering what kind of man he was to have made Yeongchae keep her chastity for over ten years.
🙝 🙟
Yeongchae sat alone, thinking. First, she wondered where Hyeong-sik was going. Given the cheering, it seemed he was going far away. I know he's on this train, but he probably doesn't know I'm here. And then, the thoughts of the past seven or eight years flashed through her mind like a motion picture. For those with a good fate, reminiscing about the past is rare; but for those with a sorrowful past, even the slightest occasion brings it all back. How many dozens, hundreds of times must Yeongchae have recalled this sorrowful past? She had recalled it so often that now that past was as orderly and coherent as a piece of fiction—pull at any thread, and the whole story would unravel smoothly.
Thinking of how she had drawn and yearned for Hyeong-sik single-mindedly for seven or eight years, and had even tried to throw away her life for him, her thoughts of him became fresher and more affectionate. Yeongchae thought to herself, 'I want to see him once more.' The more she thought, the more desperate her longing became. If he saw me, whom he thought dead, he would surely be glad. If she could meet him and pour out all the words she had kept in her heart, she felt she would be relieved. Why hadn't she gone to him then and said clearly, 'I have been longing for you all this time'? Why hadn't she asked him, 'Will you love me, or not?' Now, if she met him, she would ask without hesitation.
Yeongchae wanted to dash over to Hyeong-sik's compartment right then. A flame truly rose in her chest. But she swallowed hard, thinking, 'I'll talk it over with sister first.'
Just then, the train arrived at Suwon Station. Outside was pitch dark.
Byeong-uk brought Seon-hyeong back and seated her beside her. "Yeongchae, this is Kim Seon-hyeong, my classmate. She's on her way to America now." Then, turning to Seon-hyeong, "This is Park Yeongchae, my sister," she introduced. The two women bowed to each other.
Seon-hyeong wondered how Park Yeongchae could be her sister. Byeong-uk looked from Yeongchae to Seon-hyeong, comparing their faces and fates. Yeongchae didn't know what relation Seon-hyeong had to Hyeong-sik, and of course Seon-hyeong had no way of knowing that Yeongchae had kept her chastity for Hyeong-sik for seven or eight years and even tried to take her own life for him. Seon-hyeong had only heard that Hyeong-sik had once had a sordid relationship with a woman named Gyewolhyang; of course she had no idea that this Park Yeongchae was that Gyewolhyang.
Among the three young women, there was conversation. They talked about studying hard, returning home, and joining forces to enlighten the women of Joseon; about needing to go to America or Japan to study abroad in order to succeed; about the importance of learning English and German; and about how Byeong-uk and Yeongchae planned to study music, while Seon-hyeong, though not yet decided, intended to enter a teachers' college. They wished each other great success.
The eyes of everyone in the compartment were drawn to these three Joseon women talking happily.
When Seon-hyeong returned to her seat, Hyeong-sik straightened the blanket she had spread out. "So, who is that companion?"
"A woman named Park Yeongchae. She seems very refined. Miss Byeong-uk said she's her sister."
Hyeong-sik was so shocked he could hardly breathe and his body trembled. His eyes went wide. "What! Who?" he stammered, his speech stiff. Seon-hyeong, not understanding, looked at him strangely. "I said Park Yeongchae."
"Park Yeongchae! Park Yeongchae!" He was speechless for a long moment. Useon, who was sitting behind him, also jumped up. "What? Who? Park Yeongchae?"
The three of them became like mutes for a while. Useon came and sat beside Hyeong-sik. "What is this? Then she's alive! Could it be a different person with the same name?"
Hyeong-sik covered his face with both hands. "Well, this is the happiest thing," he said, but inside he was suffering in various ways. Having followed Yeongchae to Pyongyang, then run back without even confirming whether she was dead or alive, getting engaged the very next day, and then living as if he had forgotten Yeongchae—he felt as if he had committed a great sin. Hyeong-sik had indeed been heartless. He should have gone back to Pyongyang with the five won he had borrowed from Useon. He should have gone, found her body, and given her a lavish funeral as best he could. And even if he was to marry again, out of decency he should have waited at least a year. For Yeongchae, who had kept her chastity for him for seven or eight years and had finally thrown away her body and life for him, he should have wept bitterly and mourned. But what had he done?
When he thought Yeongchae was gone from the world, he had tried to forget his sin; but now that he heard she was alive, the guilt pierced his heart like a sharp blade. Hyeong-sik clenched his teeth and sobbed. He seemed to have forgotten that Seon-hyeong was sitting beside him.
Useon jumped up and went off, intending to verify whether it was really Yeongchae.
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After Useon left, Seon-hyeong said, "What is this? Who is Park Yeongchae?" But there was no answer, so she continued. "Was there a rumor that Miss Park Yeongchae had died?" Still, Hyeong-sik bowed his head and did not answer. Seon-hyeong sat looking at his bowed head, then muttered to herself, "What on earth is going on?" and fell silent.
After a while, Hyeong-sik raised his head. "I was wrong. I am a sinner. A great sinner," he said, then choked up. Seon-hyeong grew more puzzled, her eyes flickering. Hyeong-sik continued. "I should have told you long ago, but I never had the chance... No, it's not that I had no chance—I was too weak and kept silent until now. Park Yeongchae is the daughter of my benefactor. When she was young, her father and brother died in prison on false charges. To save her father, she was deceived by others and sold her body to become a gisaeng..." At that, Seon-hyeong exclaimed, "What! She became a gisaeng?" The thought of Gyewolhyang flashed through her mind like lightning.
"Yes, she became a gisaeng. For seven years after that," he hesitated as if it was hard to say, "she kept her chastity for me. Of course, I didn't know where she was, and she didn't know where I was. Then she happened to find out where I was and came to see me." Then he couldn't think how to continue.
Seon-hyeong thought of the Yeongchae she had just met. So that woman had become a gisaeng and kept her chastity for Hyeong-sik for seven years. In her mind, she had thought of Gyewolhyang as a very seductive and licentious woman, but now she saw that Yeongchae was a refined young lady no different from herself. Then why had Hyeong-sik abandoned Yeongchae? "So what happened?"
Hyeong-sik heaved a long sigh. "She wrote a suicide note and went to Pyongyang. So I followed her right away. But I couldn't find her. I thought she had drowned herself in the Daedong River as she had said. But now she's alive and on the same train as us." He shook his head a few times as if expressing sorrow.
"So that time you went to Pyongyang—that was about this?" Seon-hyeong looked straight at Hyeong-sik. Hyeong-sik, feeling her eyes threatening him, averted his gaze. "Yes."
And that meant the day Yeongchae was said to have died was the very day Hyeong-sik and she had made their marriage pledge. Seon-hyeong's long-held suspicion—that Hyeong-sik had been infatuated with a gisaeng named Gyewolhyang—was resolved, but she felt a new, indescribable anguish pressing down on her heart. She felt as if she herself had fallen into some sin, and as if unknown difficulties and painful things blocked her path.
At that moment, Useon returned with a solemn face and said in Japanese, "It's certain," he said, sitting beside Hyeong-sik. "What a strange thing."
"So, did you go and talk to her?"
"No, I saw her sitting at the door. She was talking with the one who came here earlier..." Then, noticing Seon-hyeong beside him, he stopped as if thinking it better not to say more, then added, "Anyway, it's fine. She seems to be going to Tokyo with that female student, probably to study."
Hyeong-sik leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes blankly.
After Seon-hyeong left, Yeongchae said, "Sister, for some reason my heart is racing."
"Why? Because you heard the name Lee Hyeong-sik?"
"Yes. I thought I had forgotten him all this time, but I really haven't. It seems he was hiding deep, deep in my heart. Then at the sound of 'Hurrah for Lee Hyeong-sik,' it suddenly burst out. Oh, my heart won't calm down—I can't stand it."
"Of course. How can you easily forget someone you thought about day and night for seven or eight years? After a while you'll forget, but..."
"Should I forget him?"
"What else can you do?"
"Must I not forget him?"
Byeong-uk looked at Yeongchae steadily, then went and sat beside her, putting an arm around her waist. "Hyeong-sik is already married. He's on his way to America with his wife now."
"What? Married?" Yeongchae grabbed Byeong-uk's arm. Byeong-uk said in a comforting voice, "That Seon-hyeong who came here earlier is his wife."
"So he was already engaged back then," she said, disappointed by the past. Her past life became even sadder and more grievous. She felt she had been deceived by the world, living a life that was neither here nor there, and that all she had devoted herself to was meaningless. Disappointment and sorrow burst forth together. Moreover, she had given her whole body and mind to thinking of Hyeong-sik, but he seemed to regard her as no more than a blade of grass.
"Sister, I don't know why, but I feel so wronged."
"But you have a future, don't you?" she said, hugging Yeongchae tightly.
🙝 🙟
Hyeong-sik immediately wanted to see Yeongchae's face. It was as if he had forgotten her face from before, and he felt he absolutely had to see it anew, just once. He wanted to see the face of Yeongchae, whom he had thought surely dead. But seeing Seon-hyeong in front of him, he couldn't muster the courage to go see Yeongchae.
Hyeong-sik looked at Seon-hyeong's face. Seon-hyeong sat quietly, her eyes half-closed as if something had disappointed her. Occasionally she would glance at Hyeong-sik, then close her eyes again as if displeased, or turn her head to look at her own reflection in the window. Whenever Seon-hyeong's eyes met Hyeong-sik's, a hot flush ran through his body.
Most of the passengers in the same compartment had fallen asleep. Hyeong-sik also leaned back and closed his eyes. He shook his body once as if trying to think of nothing, and clasped his hands on his stomach. But Hyeong-sik's heart did not obey his will; it was like a stormy, churning sea.
Yeongchae should have been dead. If she were alive, he should not have known. Otherwise, they should have met before his engagement to Seon-hyeong. That they should meet after the engagement was made, on the way to America, was truly a trick of fate.
Hyeong-sik had never intended to abandon Yeongchae. On the contrary, he had not forgotten her for a long time, and when he thought of meeting her again, his affection for her would well up, and he would imagine marrying her, living happily together, bearing beautiful children and raising them ideally. And after he learned she was a gisaeng, he had even agonized all day over not being able to get a thousand won to redeem her. If only Yeongchae had not gone to Pyongyang, if only there had been no suicide note, he would surely have shared his life with her. Then he would have fulfilled his duty to his benefactor and to Yeongchae, who had kept her chastity for him for seven or eight years.
Hyeong-sik then compared Yeongchae and Seon-hyeong. Seon-hyeong was the first young woman Hyeong-sik had ever encountered in his life, and her appearance was so captivating that anyone would be entranced, so she had left an extremely deep and strong impression on him. Thus, as is common for a young man encountering a young woman for the first time, Hyeong-sik regarded Seon-hyeong as a woman without equal in the world. He believed that not only her appearance was beautiful, but her spirit was equally beautiful. On the very first day he met Seon-hyeong, Hyeong-sik attributed to her all the beautiful virtues of womanhood. In Hyeong-sik's eyes, Seon-hyeong was a woman of unsurpassed perfection and beauty.
On the evening of that same day when he had received such a strong impression, he saw Yeongchae again. Yeongchae's appearance was of course also beautiful. To be fair, Yeongchae's face might have been even more beautiful than Seon-hyeong's. But Hyeong-sik, having convinced himself that Seon-hyeong was the best in the world, could only think of Yeongchae as second. Moreover, Seon-hyeong was the daughter of a wealthy family and had received a complete education, while Yeongchae was a woman who had been through who knows what. All this combined so that no matter how he looked at it, Yeongchae did not seem equal to Seon-hyeong. Seon-hyeong was like a branch of the cinnamon tree in the moon, beyond his reach, while Yeongchae was a plum blossom branch by the roadside that he could pluck if he wished. That was why Hyeong-sik, abandoning the first-ranked Seon-hyeong, had intended to take the second-ranked Yeongchae. Then, when Yeongchae threw herself into the Daedong River, and moreover when Elder Kim proposed a marriage, Hyeong-sik accepted the engagement without much hesitation and tried to forget Yeongchae without much sorrow.